I feel alone right now. I feel pathetic. I really want someone to talk to.
I think I've pin-pointed the thing that bothers me most. I feel really unimportant to others. To anyone. If I ever get a single moment where I get positive attention, I indulge. I'm paranoid when I don't need to be. I'm too afraid to be myself because I feel that people will reject me for it. I feel like I've been rejected too many times before. Maybe that's why I care so much about how I look, even though I understand the ridiculousness and superficial desire to look a certain way, I think others will value me more if I am that "beauty". I think that I'll get all the attention I want. I think people will give me more positive attention.

It seems I think this way because I truly believe I'm not enough for myself. I need to validate my worth through others' attention, reactions, or illustrations of importance. I dont think others give me enough validation.